Life Is But A Dream
by Isabel DeVore
Summary: Alex is dead and there are only two ways Isabel and he can still be together...


title: Life Is But A Dream  
author: Isabel DeVore  
disclaimer: yes I own everything! oh wait! I must be dreaming again! damn! back to owning squat!  
rating: I wonder what it could be?...R (V)  
summery: Alex is dead and there are only two ways Isabel can still be with him...  
category: bittersweet Angst. Alex and Isabel. (what else?) Isabel's POV  
other: I still have not accepted the death of Alex but in this fic he is dead. I'm still working on 'The Far Off Dawn' sequel so bare with me. this is the third and final in the Nursery Rhyme series. I hope you enjoy! please R and R! Flames as usual are welcome also! (god, I sound like an air line flight attendant: I feel like I should be saying "and the exits are here, here, here, and here." sorry mindless rambling!)  
e-mail: Sodapop363@hotmail.com  
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***Isabel's dream***  
  
"Alex?" Isabel asked into the night air.  
  
"I'm right here Isabel." Alex climbed up the side of the large rock and sat beside Isabel.  
  
"I didn't know if you were coming or not." she laughed weakly.  
  
"I didn't want to. but you make me come. every time. I want to stop hurting you like this, Isabel." Alex spoke softly as he took her hand in his.  
  
"your not hurting me. you could never hurt me."  
  
"but I am. we can't keep doing this. meeting in your dreams. god I wish we could but when you wake up you hurt inside. you have to let me go, Isabel." he said as he tucked her hair behind her ears.  
  
"but I don't want to." Isabel said, beginning to cry as she held his hand to her face. "please don't leave me."  
  
"I have to." he said softly as if it would lighten the heart wrenching blow.  
  
"then take me with you, please!" she cried harder.  
  
"I can't do that. you know I can't. it's bad enough that I'm causing this much hurt in everyone now. I won't make it worse by having you come join me."  
  
"I know..." she breathed. "I know..."  
  
"good-bye Isabel." Alex began to disappear.  
  
"wait! not so soon! I didn't know it would be so soon!" Isabel cried after him. "please come back! come back!"  
  
***reality. Isabel's bedroom.***  
  
"come back!" I screamed and leaped up from my dream to face Max.  
  
"it's okay Isabel. it was only a bad dream. go back to sleep." Max soothed.  
  
"no. it wasn't Max." I began as Max engulfed me in a hug. "it was awful. Alex was with me and we were together and talking and then he just disappeared. and it was too soon. it was just too soon. I didn't get to say good-bye, Max. I didn't get to say good-bye..." I cried.  
  
"sshhh....I know. no one got to say good-bye Isabel. and it was too soon. way to soon. but it happened. it's over now. we have to move on." Max tried to explain to me. it going in one ear and out the other.  
  
"I'm okay now Max. go back to bed. I'm fine now." I assured him and he left me to my thoughts.   
  
***later that day. Crashdown.***  
  
"hey Isabel. what can I get you?" Maria asked me, her voice placid. I looked up from my menu and looked into her eyes. her eyes mirrored mine. black and lifeless. she had an emptiness inside her too.   
  
"umm..just a Cherry Coke. I'm not hungry." I answered.  
  
"Isabel, you have to eat something! you haven't eaten in days!" Max exclaimed.  
  
"I said I'm not hungry!" I growled and walked out of the Crashdown.  
  
***streets of Roswell***  
  
I must have walked the streets of Roswell aimlessly for only a few hours. but the hours seemed more like an eternity to me. every second seemed like an eon. every minute was forever. every hour an eternity. when I would take a breath my lungs would scream as if the air was poisoning them. when my feet would step on the Earth they felt on fire like the Earth didn't want me touching it.   
  
the wind blew, stinging my face with sand as I walked near the playground of my youth. and when I stepped near a tiny little stream of water made by a hose it seemed as if it rerouted it's way away from me. the air didn't want me. the Earth didn't want me. the wind didn't want me. and even the water didn't want me.   
  
with out Alex I was nothing, empty, and useless. nobody wanted me. nobody. so I continued to walk around, not knowing where I was going or really caring if I knew. Alex always knew where I was going. he always knew everything. he decoded the Destiny Book after all. but I have to wonder...did he know about his end? did he know he was going to leave me? I hope not.  
  
***desert , near the big rocks***  
  
I walked so far and for so long I eventually found my way to the desert near the giant rocks that I saw in my dreams. I climbed up upon the largest one and sat down. I held my legs up to me and watched the sun set and the moon rise.   
  
***Isabel's dream***  
  
"Isabel?" Alex called up to her.  
  
"I'm here Alex." she called up from atop of the rock.  
  
"I thought we weren't going to do this anymore."   
  
"I had to see you one last time. to say good-bye and hello."  
"what do you mean good-bye and hello?" he asked worriedly.  
  
"I never got to say good-bye to you Alex. so I'm saying it now. and I'm saying hello because I'm coming with you. I don't care what you say. nothing here wants me. you must know this, Alex. but everything there wants me. you want me." Isabel spoke.  
  
"I know...but..."   
  
"don't. no buts. I've made up my mind, Alex. I'm coming with you." Isabel smiled.  
  
"but what about the Destiny Book and going home?" Alex asked.  
  
"I will be going home." and with that Alex disappeared yet again. but this time Isabel didn't call after.  
  
***reality. desert rocks.***  
  
I woke up from another dream. shaking again but not screaming. I told Alex of my plan. my plan of making all my dreams become my realities. there were only two ways I could see Alex: in my dreams and in my death. death won. it was more perminate.   
  
I fished out Max's pocket knife that I took off of his dresser this morning and opened it up. I held up the blade high in the air and then brought it down into my heart. I closed my eyes and fell backward. when I 'opened' my eyes I saw Alex standing over me, frowning. he didn't want me to join him just yet. I tried to pull out of my body but he only said something to me and just pushed me back inside and left.   
  
when I truly opened my eyes I saw no one above me. I felt for the wound but it was gone. and I began to cry when Alex's words hit me.  
  
he had told me that the boat on the Styx could wait longer for me. I still had a long time to go and he would just have to wait patiently with out me. and until then I must stop living my life as a dream.   
  
oh how I wanted my life to me a dream. a beautiful dream that I never wake up in. but I can't do that. Alex saved me and if I don't use this second chance Alex will find out and get mad. so I have to live for now and wait with out him until that day when I'll finally have my reality with him and my life will be but a dream.  
  
'Row Row Row Your Boat, Gently Down The Stream, Merrily Merrily Merrily Merrily, Life Is But A Dream.'  
  



End file.
